Well. I completed and passed the 38 tests at Wal-mart. Now I begin real training. Ridiculous. Wal-mart is such a different work environment than what I've known. The employees are brainwashed slap-happy. It confuses me and I keep expecting them to show a true evil side... but, as long as it lasts, I love it. My last job, I realize now, had a negative, rather morbid setting. Even the managers are seemingly happy... and everyone is happy when they find out I'm a cashier. They need me. One of the ladies I had an interview with said she was glad I made it--she said she hardly saw the people after Tony--the store manager. She said I was great in the interview but Tony chooses people on first instinct... I met him, he shook my hand, asked me where I'd worked previously, said he liked my bag because it reminded him of hippies, and that was that... guess I make a good first impression? I like Tony.
So far, there is only one employee I think I do not like. His name is Hugh. He looks like an old pervert who seems to be in the break room every time I am. Today he talked to me for 30 minutes about his interest in rocks... I wished I wasn't on break. It'd be perfectly fine if he were a sweet old man just chatting along, but the way he talks makes me think he wants to flirt... and he winks at me.
Wal-mart has a cheer performed by all non-detained employees every morning in the store. Who knew? I'm at camp all over again.
I finally have work. Thank You God. I am exhausted.
I miss Josh. Unfortunately, he's all I can think about. I don't understand how or why something so wonderful can be tasted for just a few small moments, and you know all you've wanted was in that taste... but now it's taken away... maybe it doesn't want you anymore... I've never been so in love with someone... someone I can't have. Is there something wrong with me? Is there a reason guys give up once I'm all in... he said he's not prepared--all he can offer is a music relationship... you can't start something and then cut it off completely as if it didn't happen... God, I hate having a broken heart. I just wish I could ignore every feeling, every thought and get through.
There's a few guys who text me, one in particular a lot lately... I get excited every time I get a text in hopes it's Josh... only wishing he'd ask me how my day was going instead of someone else. I don't want anyone else to like me... I can't like anyone else... at this point, I'm not even capable of that.
Worship has proven still, my true happiness. The other night during the storm I couldn't sleep... I had a million ideas going through my head for lyrics. I am going to start writing. And Sunday morning I am hoping to sing Waiting Here For You by Christy Nockels. It has been playing nonstop every time I get in my car for a week now and I absolutely love it. You should come.
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1 comment:
Hang in there :(
Maybe he needs time to think, maybe God is going to tell him to snap out of it and talk to you, maybe you both need some time and you can't see why God wants that for you yet.
It's gonna be good in the end and most likely you'll see very clearly what all this was for.
That probably doesn't help a lot right now though... I'll be praying for you.
As for that guy at Walmart, you can barrow one of my pennywhistles and blow it really hard in his ear. I recommend the hight d personally.
I like Tony too lol. Hope I get a boss that cool ;)
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