I kissed a toad

I’m sitting here eating animal crackers and listening to Death Cab for Cutie’s “I’ll follow you into the dark”. I assume these are real animal crackers… this one might be a cow… I’m not really sure. I think the donkey is the only animal you can tell is an actual animal and not some deformed piece of cracker clumped together… donkeys are probably the least appetizing, though… I mean honestly, who would want to eat a donkey?
Well, Friday I drove to Murphy with mom. I’m getting better at driving… well, except when a cop tails me. I pulled onto 19129 and then noticed the car behind me. “Oh crap, is that a cop?” I immediately thought of Stephanie and all the times I’ve yelled cop in the car and she’d scream and go off the road. I went five under the speed limit half the way there until he finally passed me and I could breathe again. I know that cops are supposed to be the good guys, but can I help it if I hate them sometimes for tailing me? I will never understand how those directors managed to make the popo fat lazy bad guys who sit around all day eating doughnuts—now that’s just a dirty twisted insult… they drive around all day looking for someone to pull over just for the fun of it, and they don’t eat doughnuts they eat Blimpies.
I got my hair trimmed and layered more. And I also got a red-ish purple highlight in the back… I like it. Cheri (the woman who did my hair) also straightened it which was awesome because I’ve never been able to straighten my hair before… so it was a new experience for me and it looked pretty cool. I got my ear pierced again so now I have three in one ear. And I found some jeans… that never happens. My mom actually bought two whole outfits (it’s a miracle—that never ever happens). It was so boring sitting in that salon waiting for the dye to kick in… I sat there for thirty minutes looking at stupid magazines reading about Brittany Spears and the people in and out of her life now… lol… and there were these dumb flies going around the room that kept buzzing near my head. That killed me. When my hair was finally done and it looked all cool and everything I was browsing around Wal-Mart and this oldish guy probably in his forties was walking by and he was smiling at me so of course I smiled back… wouldn’t you? Only then I realized from the way he asked, “how are you?” that I probably shouldn’t have smiled… oh boy. That was rather disturbing. What’s with the creepy old farts always winking?
On the way home I was pulling out of this gas station on a hill and so I’m just waiting there with my blinker on, waiting for the traffic to go by so I could pull out… so this dude at the end of the line is coming and he’s got his blinker on so of course I’m thinking—well, he’s turning, I can just go… right? Wrong. Never trust those blinkers. He could have hit me if it weren’t for mom yelling (probably the first time she’s ever said anything than just sitting there holding on with wide eyes when I drive… just kidding)… so I pulled off the road and let that stupid idiot pass me… whew.
And now for the whole purpose of this entry--if the title wasn't driving you nuts already... yes, it's true. I kissed a toad! I found a big toad the other night but it got away… otherwise I probably would have kissed it then. Don’t ask why, I just felt like it… just for the purpose of being able to say: “I have kissed a toad.” So, I found the toad again today and I picked it up and kissed it. It wasn’t so bad… lol… don’t say it, I know I’m insane. But I did brush my teeth—and lips—after I kissed him so I won’t get warts… most likely… haha. I’m rather disappointed… where’s prince charming? Maybe it was a girl toad… How can you tell the difference with toads?
Well, I shall take my leave after that most disgusting news you've probably heard all day so you can ponder why you are friends with me... avua!

smithy