Little memories fall where they will, each an arrow to the heart.

No one understands if at one moment I could be fine, and the next something could trigger the pain and it’s all I can do to keep the tears inside. It gets easier. But there are still memories… and times when I feel like he took my dreams with him when he said goodbye. And now what am I? All I ever really wanted was to have someone to love me, to hold me.

He talked about how there’d be an empty place for a while, and he’d have to find something to replace me after I was gone. Replace me? It hurts more than anything to know I’m being replaced. I knew everything there is to know about him, and now another girl has taken my place… as if I’m just a lost memory that doesn’t matter anymore. I saw him with her… he flirted with her, like he used to with me… I couldn’t move my feet. Like I was nailed to the floor and could only watch the bullet coming. Why does it hurt me so much? I would never go back to him… never… I see him now for what he really is… and yet, this pain is like nothing I have ever felt.

you should probably follow ladaisi's blog.

i'm in love.

can you explain it?

Listening to Bill Maher ridicule our beliefs with a crowd laughing at every word makes you wonder if the reason he’s never understood Christianity properly is because no one was able to explain it to him… or maybe he’s just what he looks like, an irritating, ignorant rationalist trying to put on a comedy.
The only reason I would, or could ever be ashamed to call myself a Christian is because of other so-called “Christians” parading around like some know-it-all-self-religious-throw-it-in-your-face idiots who when asked to explain their reasoning come up with a load of crap you can’t even back up with the Bible.
In America, those “claiming” to be Christians have decreased from 86 percent in 1990 to 75 percent today, and I know that is still a rather large portion, but it’s not the “claiming” or “labeling” that should matter but what people believe and do… and if they can explain themselves—the reason for the hope that should be very apparent in their lives. To call Christianity “just another belief or religion” is degrading by all means and if a so called Christian is not capable of explaining what it really is than they shouldn’t be claiming any religion at all until they’ve got their facts straight. To have a religion means to have faith in it, something that backs you up that you believe in and work for… you can call Christianity what you want as a religion---but what it really should come down to is a person distributing Christ’s love through a very evident relationship with the Father.

nothing

She twirled the match around, like a sorcerer with a wand controlling the flame before it bit at her fingers. I imagined the smoke, now climbing in the air from the black head of scalded wood, was an old woman with long gray hair ever entwining behind her coal face. She proceeded to light the five candles, each rich vanilla. They were all below four inches high and would not last long. There was a blue candle of which I did not know the scent, with a glass frame to keep the wax from spilling. When she blew them out I put my finger in the milky wax. It burned for only a second until it dried into a round crust on my fingertip. I peeled it off to examine the perfect, smooth print inside the now hardened impression.

Christmas

I have decided I’m looking forward to Christmas this year. I wasn’t at first because who knows what it’ll be like without my whole family here… but today when we went to Goodys they were playing Christmas music (and it wasn’t as bad as last years, surprisingly… well, except this one song where the lady sung REALLY out of key)… last year it drove me insane because they start playing Christmas music sooo early, but, it didn’t really bother me this time. In fact, I’ve missed it. We kinda missed Christmas last year being in the Keys in all, so yeah… I wanna watch all our traditional Christmas movies we watch every year, set up the tree and play the old records… yep. And even if it’s dorky and we don’t really do Christmas gifts I just don’t care… I wanna have a good Christmas.

smithy

i've been tagged

Rules consist of:
Link to the person (Lauren) who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Write Six Random Things about yourself.
Tag a few other people at the bottom of the post and leave comments on their blogs to let them know they've been tagged.
And also let the person who tagged you know when you've written the post.

1. I get the hiccups whenever I eat pancakes, toast, carrots or hamburgers.
2. The longest I've ever gone without biting my nails is a week--and that was almost painfully hard.
3. The sound or feeling of wood scraping against teeth just kills me like a fingernail against a chalkboard.
4. I don't like pie.
5. I've watched Much Ado About Nothing about 5 times in a row and I'm still not sick of it... and I bet I could quote the Emperor's New Groove and Monty Python the whole way through.
6. I have a deadly fear of spiders.

I've always wondered what it would be like to get tagged... huh. It was actually kind of hard thinking up six things... lol... well, I hereby tag Kacie and Christa... yep, looks like everyone else I know on blogger has already been tagged.

smithy